Sometimes you have to get creative if you want to capitalize on a genius brand like STAR WARS! Watch these BRILLIANT Disney execs in action!!!
Transcript[]
Jason: Congratulations, team, on the successful release of our 10,000th Star Wars film, Don Solo: The Epic Story of Han's Seventh Cousin Twice Removed.
James: Well done.
Jason: Now, as profitable as the Star Wars franchise has been to Disney, I think we can all agree it's time to move on, to pursue a more meaningful endeavor.
Tori: Stop it!
James: Oh, oh, oh. You had me going!
Jason: But seriously, I need ten new Star Wars films before lunch.
Adam: Okay. I know we've already made 197 movies about Luke's backstory, but what if we show him at the Jedi Temple exchanging some oversized robes? We could call it "Returns of the Jedi".
Jason: I love it. Next!
James: A shot-for-shot remake of Empire Strikes Back, except we replace Darth Vader's lightsaber with... a smaller Darth Vader.
Tori: Oh, cool.
Jason: That is bold. But, as Yoda once said: "Do or do not, as long as money it makes".
James: I also propose that we return to George Lucas's original vision, and replace the Jawas with CGI Lucases.
Jason: Yes, yes, I like it.
Tori: Okay, now, speaking of bold ideas, um, in The Phantom Menace, they talk about midichlorians-
Jason: Uh, definitely the worst part about that movie... because they didn't go into enough detail!
Tori: Exactly! Now, how about we Magic School Bus this thing, and we have a cartoon Qui-Gon Jinn in a microscopic spaceship inside Anakin, explaining how the Force works?
Jason: Yes. Real nerds will love it for the science, and fake nerds will love it... for Star Wars. But how do we attract the jocks?
James: We make a sports-themed movie about an undersized 7'3" Catholic Wookie, whose only dream is to play football for Notre Dame, called "Chewie".
Jason: Yes! Now, what other completely original ideas do we have?
Adam: Sixty-five million years ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Darth Maul's great-great-great-grandfather gets bitten by a space mosquito, which is then preserved in space tree sap, until a space scientist space-extracts it. We call it "Jurassic Park: Space".
Jason: Wow. Wow. These are great, guys, but there is one incredibly obvious idea that, honestly, I'm kind of ashamed you've all overlooked.
Tori: We've... we've thought of everything. There are no ideas left in the idea Jar Jar.
Jar Jar: Meesa back.
Jason: Does this photo look familiar?
James: Yes. And we've created an individual film for each one of these stormtroopers.
Jason: Even him?!
James: Argh!
Tori: Oh!
James: How could we have been so blind?
Jason: This left foot belonged to someone, and just because that someone is a clone, with an identical backstory to everyone else, doesn't mean that we can treat him like he was a piece of Bantha poo-doo! Especially considering we once made a Star Wars film with just the opening crawl!
Adam: So we give him a trilogy.
Jason: So we give him a saga. But we start with film four, then five, then two, eight, then one, six, nine, three, and finally seven, which we split into three parts.
Jeremy: Hey, sorry to interrupt, but Pixar just called. They need ideas for Cars 4.
Jason: Wow. Pixar's getting desperate.
James: One, two, three, four.
Adam: How do you make a sequel?
Jason: Uh, Wall-E 2!
| Season 8 Episode 3 | ||
|---|---|---|
| ~ TV Soap Opera Parody (transcript) ~ ~ The 5 Stages of Netflix (transcript) ~ ~ 80's TV Show Parody: Saved by the Joke (transcript) ~ ~ Orangetooth (transcript) ~ ~ An Unfortunate Fortune (transcript) ~ ~ Star Wars Movies in the Future (transcript) ~ | ||