Everything Sounds Nicer

Everything Sounds Nicer

Adam: You called for me, boss?
Mallory: Oh yes, thank you so much for coming in. Ah, listen, so you're a really great worker and a nice guy...
Adam: Oh, thanks.
Mallory: this isn't easy to do, but we're downsizing. So, we have to uh...
Adam: You're going to... actually...
Mallory: We have to uh... we have to let you uh...
Adam: What are you saying?
Mallory: I mean we have to fire... You know what? Let me just sing this to you.
Adam: No, I don't really think that would help.
Mallory: Oh no, it will definitely help, this is gonna be really good, so...

Everything sounds nicer when you sing
When you sing
When you sing
When you sing

As long as it sounds pretty you can sing
Evil things
Nasty things
Violent things

Adam: So, am I fired?

You can tell your grandma, it's time to put her in a home
Dump your boyfriend, say he's got to die alone

James:That's a pretty song, Mal.
Mallory: Hey James, hey.
James: Hey.
Mallory: I'm dumping you.
James: What?!

I mean I'm dumping you

James: All right!

As long as you are singing, they can't trace
That you just insulted them to their face

Mallory: Like take Jason here for example, if I just say to him "I want to hurt you", it comes off a little threatening, but if I sang it in a jazzy voice:

I want to kick you in the head

Jason: Wow, thank you!
Mallory: You're welcome Jason, I'll see you in the parking lot after work.
Jason: Okay.

Everything sounds nicer to music
And it helps that Jason here's an idiot.

Jason: It's true, I am!

Just imagine if doctors used this tactic when diagnosing their patients.

Stacey: Look, you have one week to live.
Matt: What?! I am suing you.
Mallory: Here doc, let me try.

Since your surgery you've been infected through and through
Because this stupid doctor left his iPod inside you.

Matt: Well, I've lived a good life. Sing it girl!

You can tell your friend that she looks awful in those pants
And admit you never ever wash your hands

Mallory: Hey!
Whitney: Hey!

I hope you don't mind ruining that blazer
Security's coming and they're bringing tasers.

Because you are fired! (Fired! Fired!)
You didn't do anything wrong!
You're just fired! (Fired! Fired!)

You are fired! (Fired! Fired!)
Just 'cause we don't like your face
You are fired! (Fired! Fired!)

And you're not getting severance pay.

Season 1 Episode 5
~ The Entertainment (transcript) ~
~ Chatterbox (transcript) ~
~ New Year's Resolution (transcript) ~
~ Everything Sounds Nicer (lyrics) ~
~ Google Translate (transcript) ~
~ Mafia (transcript) ~
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