Señor Lobster Bisque is BACK and ready to cook! Check out the second segment of his 'Cooking Bisque' show, where he outlines the secrets of bisque success!
Transcript[]
James: Hey, guys. Hi. I just returned from my hiatus to study mushrooms in Japan. And by hiatus, I mean, I said hi to the mushrooms, I ate the mushrooms, and I smuggled mushrooms back to the "us" - the United States. Now get out of my kitchen! Just kidding. This is a cooking show.
Lobster bisque, lobster bisque
Lobster bisque is cooking bisque and stuff
It's food!
James: Just like Arnold Schwarzenegger, I'm back. Because like the Terminator, I am a virtually indestructible android assassin.
James: Eventually, I will teach you all of my famous recipes, including prosciutto-saltine-bocca-panini-con-frogole-a-la-toscana, lettuce salad, and lobster bisque! But first, we must start with the basics! So, number one: What is food?
Jeremy: We're not doing that segment.
James: Why not?
Jeremy: We don't need to tell people what food is.
James: How... how can they cook if they don't know what food is?
Jeremy: We can assume people know what food is.
James: George Lucas?
Jeremy: Excuse me?
James: You know that guy?
Jeremy: Can we not do this?
James: James Comey?
Jeremy: Yeah, the former FBI director?
James: They're better directors than you.
Jeremy: That's a terrible insult.
James: I apologize. I love and appreciate you. You are a great friend.
Jeremy: Thank you.
James: ...with terrible ideas. I would not follow you off a cliff, as they say.
Jeremy: Can we just move on?
James: To segment two?
Jeremy: Yeah, I think. What was segment two?
James: What is a mouth?
James: You want to start with segment 67?
Jeremy: Yes. It's the first time you actually talk about cooking.
James: You wouldn't know cooking if your behind had two hands and a map.
Jeremy: That makes no sense.
James: Takes one to know one!
Jeremy: Okay, let's take five!
James: Takes five to know five!
James: Today, we're going to talk about how...
Jeremy: Sorry, sorry. The lighting is a little intense. Can someone get a scrim?
James screams
James: Is that the kind of scrim you wanted?
Jeremy: Nope!
James: Today, we will talk about how to be a great chef and to find that perfect recipe. You have to take risks. So, try something new. You never know what you'll get. Huh. And if it doesn't work out, you could feed it to your neighbor's cat. Hopefully, it will be poisonous, and that stinking cat will die. Please join us next week, when I force Jeremy to try my brand new red beet bisque! Both as a meal and as a hair dye.
Jeremy: I'm not doing that, I'm allergic to beets.
James: I know. Can't wait!
| Season 8 Episode 9 | ||
|---|---|---|
| ~ The Little Mermaid (transcript) ~ ~ Cooking Bisque: Famous Recipes (transcript) ~ ~ The Most Organic Vlog: Social Media Tips (transcript) ~ ~ The Dog Whisperer with Farley Archer: Rescue Dogs (transcript) ~ ~ Callin' Collin: Punch Him in the Booty (transcript) ~ ~ The Birth of Superman (transcript) ~ | ||